The end of a chapter

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I have been carrying ghosts in my garage for over a decade. Though appearing well hidden, I always know they are there.  Yesterday I purged. It was finally the day, a long time coming. A large box of mementos, photos, movie reels, slides, etc.  They were left behind when my bio father walked away. I held them out of a sense of obligation, not having the courage to sort through or the heart to throw out things that might be of value to him. 

Why would I share something so personal? Because there are so many people holding on to something that becomes larger than life’ painful things that represent their past. I encourage you to let go. It might hurt, it might not be as bad as you think. Just do it, holding on doesn’t heal. 

My family helped me sort through, keeping a few things, throwing most away. I did save some things to mail him. pictures of his parents, baby things etc.  I have been reading so much about God’s grace, and this was a conscious move to exhibit that in an effort to follow that example. It felt as though I was throwing away pieces of a life, but had to remind myself that we are not responsible for other’s choices. He threw away the pieces. No more being accountable for someone elses actions.

As I tucked in the pictures to keep safely in an album, I was stunned. My parents sent me large piles of photos for my birthday of childhood memories. These few fragments have a place in my memories, they mattered. What a joy to feel the safety of photos that cement the place I have in my parents hearts. My mom remarried when I was very young. I am so proud to call her husband my father. HE is my dad. The one who loved me through everything. My dad exhibits unconditional love. I am blessed. My mother gave me all she had and I am grateful. Together they provided me with a stable loving home. What joy to be reminded of the reality, when my memory is faulty.

What are your ghosts? Consider letting them go. John 14:27 says “I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be trouble or afraid.”

A chapter of life is closed. Choose the peace. It is worth it. I pray that sharing these thoughts might encourage you to be courageous and close the book on the pages best left unread.

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About christasterken

Committed to a life of purpose. Learning to live abundantly. Embracing creativity. Questioning. Delighting in the comforts of home and family. Determining not to settle only for how things are, but how they could be. Writing is part of who I am, so I trust In God who gave the gift to show me how I can serve Him through it. That is my life…one word at a time. Psalm 89:11a“Teach me your way , O Lord, and I will walk in your truth”

3 responses »

  1. Your words touch me, and I cannot think of many ghosts right now, but I know there are some, and I want to let them go and leave my life in God’s arms – my heavenly Dad’s arms.

  2. Christa, I know have several ghosts haunting around me. I know what you mean about getting rid of things that seem to be touchstones for them. I have a white straw handbag that contains a bunch of newspaper clippings. I have not gotten them out in 12 years, but they are still there–haunting my closet. Maybe someday I can do what you did.

    This was quite poignant and will give depth to your fiction, too.

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