Fall seems to bring an onslaught of activities which require us to stick with them for varied lengths of time. This makes me uncomfortable, but why? A few years ago, while lamenting the new calendar, my friend Michelle observed that I don’t like commitments. Unsure how to take this I probed further. She laughed, that although I am 100 percent devoted and reliable once I make the commitments, just the thought of them makes me feel almost panicked as if all time will be swallowed up. She is right. It used to seem normal to run, run, run. That is what we “do”, so I did it.
Then one day a seed was planted, one that brought deep thinking about the “why” of the doing. Evaluating what truly matters in my life made all the stuff we do pale in significance. I began a process of swimming against the busy current of life, purposing to slow down and enjoy it! This new season we are entering is too busy (in my book) and exciting (for my kids). The days promise plenty of fun and varied outlets, but my calendar prospects for free time look bleak.
My wise husband pointed out that this is part of our growing girls time of life, when they start to spread their wings in opposite directions. Duly noted, I worked all the harder to pencil in some free time. The fact is, commitments really do rule the coming months. All were given prayer and consideration, and that is the way it will be. Period. My skin crawls a bit at the intrusion on our life. Yes, even wonderful things can feel like an intrusion. I think this is precisely because we have enjoyed life, even the rough days, trying to pay attention enough to appreciate the ride.
So, we commit. Life will flow. We’ll persevere, but deep inside I will long for the sweet days of freedom simply to enjoy the moments as they happen. It makes me deeply grateful for this homeschooling journey. We have all benefited from the freedom of truly living, together. That is the committment I am honored to keep.