Who’s That Girl?

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She is foreign to me, yet someone I remember.  I know we share the same name, birthdate, life. She is me, before.

Before I became everything I didn’t know I wanted to be.

This girl, 16 years old, is between the ages of my own children now. The day is well-remembered; my Aunt Kim dabbled in photography and took me to do a photo shoot.  This girl had dreams of fashion design and travel. Modeling and acting. She didn’t dream of marriage and children. She wanted to escape her childhood and be an adult. And, she worked hard towards that goal.

Those efforts, naturally, came at a high cost. Adulthood was nothing she dreamed of, really. There was a period of rebellion with a steep price tag.

Fast forward, and I see her now. I feel for her as though she were my child. Her dreams are not my own. Not anymore. I am as far from those dreams as East to West. And glad for it. I am a stay at home mother. I homeschool. I am a devoted follower of Jesus Christ. I invest daily in my marriage (which, by the way, the boy she dated turned out to be the man of her dreams).

Nothing I could have even imagined to be, is my reality. I am a better woman for it.

My husband knew this girl. He loved her and he still does. Now he respects her deeply.We have forged out a life, uniquely ours. It has challenges. Abundant rewards.

And the thing that girl really did want the most. ..Inner peace?  Freedom? A rich life filled with things that matter? Oh, how those things are fulfilled!

She wanted to make a difference, and so do I. That is a dream that we still share, living a life that matters.

Do you remember who you were? What do you think of the adult you turned out to be?

2 Corinthians 5:17

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

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About christasterken

Committed to a life of purpose. Learning to live abundantly. Embracing creativity. Questioning. Delighting in the comforts of home and family. Determining not to settle only for how things are, but how they could be. Writing is part of who I am, so I trust In God who gave the gift to show me how I can serve Him through it. That is my life…one word at a time. Psalm 89:11a“Teach me your way , O Lord, and I will walk in your truth”

12 responses »

  1. Ohhhhh, I love this post. I knew that girl, and loved her then too. You have become such a beautiful woman, and I marvel in your growth, my dear friend.

  2. What a thoughtful piece of writing. I am not who I was, but I’m not yet who I’m supposed to be. I am this: becoming.

    I so appreciate you, and your “new life…” You are honoring God right here with your words and reflection. Thank you. So glad you’ve linked with us.

  3. I don’t think any of us are who we were. Life and circumstances beyond our control change us. We are constantly in a state of change. While I don’t love that I have my illness with its limitations, I still love life and hope to give back with my writing about what happened to me.

  4. Pingback: 12 Popular Posts From 2012- A Peaceful Way To Enjoy The Evening

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